DISORDERLY DRESSING VOL. 1: It's CALLED "Cig Couture," Mom!
- DESTRUCTION X DOLL
- Jul 27, 2025
- 14 min read
Updated: Dec 1, 2025
For the Girls Not Ready to Go Home *Just* Yet
Personal outfit choices that I wear on nights I refuse to leave til' the venue closes, fashion inspirations that have followed me throughout the years, and suggestions for the absolute best-case scenarios -- or worst, whichever you prefer.
Some of my favorite, memorable moments derive from times I spent an entire night's waking hours getting dolled up, dancing the night away, and crashing in the middle of my friends' floors because I was too pooped to drive elsewhere. I always knew how my night was gonna go based on the choices of my outfits: the messier the fit, the better my time would be. These times would become a regular degular part of my nightly routine which, as you can see, is far from the average person. While the rest of the world nestles in their cozy little nooks and send their farewells for the end of the day, EYE take this opportunity to use the silence of the night and turn it into my ideal of "morning." Whether I was working a show for media or taking some time of self-care by going out dancing and vibing to the music-- whether it was after parties, dive bars, underground Hardcore shows, raves, concerts -- you name it, I was up in it! No matter what time it was, what day of the week it was, where it was, why it was, and who it was with, I'd always been down for a spontaneous dead-of-night adventure.
When it comes to the personalization of my style, I decided to come up with a certain name for the specific look that compliments my nightly activities -- something I like to call "Disorderly Dressing." To put it even more specifically, the energy of the fashion I like to invoke and incorporate when I'm getting dressed, I have decided to give the title "Cigarette Couture" or "Cig Couture" inspired by my consistent habitual smoking most often seen when bands are in between sets or when I'm on the go (--a habit which I REALLY need to quit one might add). On one hand, I consider the concept behind "Cig Couture" to come from the ideology of looking like my best version of hot, sexy, and fresh while still having the ability to move and function as I stand on my feet for long periods at a time. I also conceived it on the principle of those that came before me -- the outrageously, eccentrically, individualistically dressed Girlz that inspired, shaped, and molded my fashionable identity and allowed me to birth my style in my own rite. My appearance is very versatile in the sense that there will never be just one aesthetic I could ever abide by.
Sometimes I feel like going tomboy-ish. Aaliyah, Gwen Stefani (pre-solo act, CIRCA No Doubt '96-'97), and the lovely androgenous goddess herself, Omahyra Mota, have taught me that you don't have to dress typically "feminine" to look and feel beautiful about yourself, that being experimental with your style, that testing the waters outside of the "normal" gender binary is completely normal and so, SO stylish! And, yes, sometimes I do indulge in throwing on a skimpy, trashy mini-dress and praying that the spirits of Courtney Love, Kat Bjelland, Taylor Momsen, all the members of KITTIE, and other female-fronted bands would run through me like a conduit for the paranormal -- because partying with my ripped fishnets for tights and underlayers, bedazzled underwear that could pass for shorts, platform boots that would tighten my feet by the end of the night, and A WAY too overly sized jacket to cover a mini skirt and even minier bralette or ripped up DIY tee feels just as good too. Although, other times, going the bohemian hippie-dippie, "Flower Power" route when I'm feeling lazy but still wanna look effortlessly put together can be heavenly.
My fashion identity has worked its way to where it currently is because of my life experiences which I highly accredit from the concept that it is one of the greatest influences on how you look. I 'd begin to find interest in Alternative scenes at a primarily young age of 13 or 14. This is usually a normal time when you peak into inquisitiveness of finding your greatest interests; music, fashion, hobbies and activities, social groups, etc. -- though some explore outside of their norm in the latter stages of their lives, and that's okay too! I can recount the exact moment that led me down my path when a random VH1 documentary centered around 90s pop culture where it featured an impactful announcement of the death of Kurt Cobain. I'd felt a moment of empathy for this man who's name I'd never heard of, let alone his music or his highly critically acclaimed band, Nirvana. My curiosity got the best of me as I wanted to know what was it about his music that would make him take his own life? Obviously, there are many more factors that came into play such as addiction, mental disorders, and a breaching, unfathomable amount of fame -- but a 13-year-old wouldn't know anything about that.
It was from there that I'd develop a concerningly obsessive attachment to Nirvana, eventually leading me to bands and artists similar to them, that surrounded the same areas and spaces they'd occupy, same or similar genres, their musical influences, who they hung around, what subcultures and countercultures they were associated with, the media that these different subcultures and countercultures consumed, and so on and so forth. This would also continue to develop my fashion identity through experimentation.
At this point, Grunge had become my greatest friend and in comparison, the Riot Grrrl movement that parallelled it didn't just inspire my outfit choices, it kicked off my feminist views (though some differentiating from the spotlighted white feminism that was heavily pushed) and encouraged me to approach life and art with more DIY tactics. Then it was New Wave Goth and Punk with Garage Rock in which the distortions and sounds of such bands as Sex Pistols, Fugazi, Black Flag, Siouxsie and the Banshees, Bad Brains, X-Ray Spex, Dead Kennedy's, New York Dolls + Johnny Thunders, The Clash, The Ramones, The Cure, The Smiths, and others can be heard in the noise of the Grunge culture I was oh-so heavily intrigued by -- and not too long after, would begin to seep into my everyday wear.
70s Hippe culture, Funk, Soul, and Disco followed suit, allowing me to open myself to my uniqueness and rebel against oppressive ideologies and societal standards by engaging in Left-leaning politics (as it was also around the time that the Black Lives Matter movement shot off the ground after the unfortunate demise of Mike Brown and Treyvon Martin). At the same time, I became introduced to the underlying importance of women behind the scenes of the music...the groupies, girlfriends, wives, muses, the women and girls that created their own art yet influenced the minds and artistic workings of legendary figures in all sorts of scenes and industries. These feminine figures would later empower my makings as a modern (former? Semi-retired?) groupie, media personality and media personnel for various bands and artists.
The bottom line is, my desire to explore carved the stamps of my identity and it's never just been one music genre, fashion label, social media post, or whatever. They've all overlapped with each other momentously, even occurring within the same time as each other -- many of them almost completely contradictory! I discovered Daft Punk, my initial entryway into Electronica and other EDM, at just the age of 5 when I took ballet classes. When I'd gotten into Grunge, I was also fully tuned in to the then-Hipster culture of the early 2010s and a huge Tumblr head... not to mention incredibly attuned with all things vintage -- Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn films and typewriters became my own personal Holy Grail. I've gone from trying to live a life of "normalcy" and appear more "normal like" during my first few semesters of college while still emerging my music taste in some of the heaviest artists to date. I admire Gyarus, Harajukus and other Asian-born subcultures in the same way Jesus had his disciples, and you would never guess given the fact I present myself dressed in all black like Damien from The Omen (10-point kudos to you if you get that reference). Cult-classic defining films, directors, and their starlets became a big staple into finding myself in various of ways -- not just my fashion sense, but my identity, personality, how I wanted to be perceived, how I talked, etc. all while being a teeny bopper wannabe Mall Goth with acne on my face and braces atop my teeth... thanks, Harmony Korine and Gregg Araki. I mean, what kid in the year of our lord 2016 was partaking in the speech and lingo of a mid-90s kid in a borough of New York? Me, that's who!
The more I'd venture into the actual scenes, the more I'd find myself mixing and matching my appearance. Coming into my 20s with a history of rebellion and already 10 years' worth of experience, I'd grow to explore even more outside of my comfort into similar spaces. Raving and EDM became my everything along with the community I'd gain from it -- for better or for worse -- and the same with Hardcore. I've picked up so many things from the people I interact with and confide in, the artists that take pleasure in entertaining the crowd, lessons learned from elders that've been around long before many of us were even born...and with all that being said, it still barely scratches the surface. Various aspects of a lifestyle come into play and intersect each other to create its own microcosm of a person, their experience, and how it can influence them in something so simple as maintaining an individualistic style! Even as I age, I continue to reference interests I've had decades ago and incorporate it into my current interests.
The High School Daze;
The First Stage of Rebellion
THANKS, SNAPCHAT!
EARLY - MID COLLEGE ERA -- COVID TEAS (UNFORTUNATELY)
NOW ENTERING:
THE RAVE-HARDCORE ERA
OH, HOW I WISH I HAD ACCESS TO MY OLD PHONE FROM A LOT OF THESE DAYS!
Obviously, I can't cover every little detail of the efforts and influences gone into each and every outfit in one substantial article -- but I could do a serious ongoing deep-dive into a few of them! Right now, I wanna talk about my tips that I believe every Messy Girl should take heed of for both a comfortable, yet fashionable night out and ways to curate your personal style sense
FIRST RULE OF "CIG COUTURE:"
BEWARE OF THE PLATFORMS!
I know, I know. "But my Demonias literally go with this outfit!" I get it, I do it all the time! But sometimes -- well a lot of times -- it can't be sustainable. For one, you should definitely save your platforms for your best nights out or events you deem special but don't make it too reoccurring to avoid damage to the shoes. Trust me, I know from experience... to this day. Instead of causing wear and tear to your Demonias, I'd personally suggest buying shoes that still fulfill your desires to be two inches taller but may not require as much care. For me, I buy second hand -- Marshalls has become my go-to for some of the best footwear I have in my closet, and they haven't failed me yet! But of course, don't forget to switch them up because that's not to say they won't come to the same demise. And for your nights out, I BEG, please bring a second pair of comfortable shoes if you do manage to fit them in your bags -- you don't want your feet barking by the time the show's over and I KNOW you don't want to grow bunions on your toes! Don't we go through enough for the price of beauty?!
SECOND RULE:
ALWAYS, ALWAYS KEEP A MUCH-PREPARED ALL-NIGHTER BAG!
Especially in cases you know you're gonna end up just crashing in your friends' cribs. I had to FORCE myself to start double, triple, quadruple checking my bags to ensure I had everything I need and there would always be something missing anyways. A few of my girlfriends gave me this idea to start packing a toiletry bag full of essentials such as deodorant, perfumes, makeup and brushes for touchups, makeup wipes, portable chargers, hell even face wash and toothbrushes just in case because you'll never know where you'll end up by the time the night's over. This has really helped me become a little more organized in my dysfunctional lifestyle and schedule and actually brings me great pleasure knowing I have everything I need (because as a Virgo, you KNOW I need to keep something about myself organized -- I'll just go crazier than I already am!) Sometimes, your plans can get prolonged more than you expected it too... sometimes, you may find yourself hopping from bar to club, to another bar, to another club, and become distorted all throughout wondering what you did and didn't bring. "Do I have my ID with me? Where's my eyeshadow? Ugh it's so hot and sweaty in here, did you bring perfume? What about deodorant? Do you have chapstick/lip gloss I can borrow?" I've seen it, I've done it. And this isn't an infomercial but trust me, if there was ever a more important life hack that you needed to hear, take THIS one into high consideration! You won't regret it!
THIRD RULE:
NEVER FOLLOW TRENDS; TO HAVE STYLE, YOU MUST DO RESEARCH!
The best way to find references for a style you'd like to play around with or invest in, is by digging in the archives and touring the sites of scenes/subcultures in relation to them -- at least from my personal experience. Facebook, Pinterest, and Tumblr have become some of my favorite surface level playgrounds for a general, basic idea of what I'm looking for. Though the absolute best credible sources for delving deeper typically come from the sources of said subcultures or fashion looks I've immersed myself in. Websites, publications, magazines, brand look-books, zines, and zine-based webpages... you may think I'm Captain Obvious for saying such a thing, but I mention it because it can vary from culture to culture, subculture to subculture, regardless of the source being big or small.
Throughout the years, I've scoured through pages of Myspace, AngelFire, Nylon Magazine, I-D Magazine, Vampire Freaks, DAZED, Creem Magazine, FRUiT Magazine, STREET Magazine, Kerrang! Magazine, The Face, EGG Magazine, Popeye, Blenda, Fader, Sassy Magazine, Teen Vogue, PAPER Magazine, Spin Magazine, NME, the illustrious Rookie Mag by Tavi Gevinson, WildFox, Nasty Gal, and believe it or not, issues of IMPORT Tuner, DSport Magazine, KING Magazine, XXL, VIBE Magazine, Playboy, and Penthouse. These of course aren't near obscurity but it's really not about finding the world's most unknown sources for some type of "most individualistic" award. I adored these publications growing up (especially the ones older than I -- so just about all of them) because they provided me a bigger connection to the music, artists, creators, celebrities, different corners of the world, and other subcultures I was already interested in -- how they dressed, what inspired them, who inspired them, what they represented individually, what upcoming projects or incoming [cultural/subcultural] trends we could look forward to seeing, discussions around politics, philosophy, sexuality... as a teen and coming into my 20s, I felt these topics were important to my upbringing especially considering I wasn't having them with my own family. Yet they were such a pivotal force into how I developed my sense of self and, eventually, sense of style.
To this day I find myself discovering subcultures and countercultures I had never been privy to before. I've recently gotten into "Rivetheads" and" Military Goth" after listening to a lot of Industrial Metal and although I don't see them out and about nowadays, its intriguing enough for me to want to continually look even more into... and that's how it should be! We should all be constantly inquisitive to grow more, to evolve and expand not just our knowledge, but our appearances to how we want them to continue to be!
FOURTH RULE:
USE MEDIA REFERECES TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
Again, for me personally, shows, movies, and literature considered "taboo" in my life brought me an even greater interest knowing that they were supposed to be inaccessible and unspoken of. "Rock of Love," "Flavor of Love," "Bad Girls Club," "Jersey Shore" -- I shouldn't have been watching em' at such a young age, but how could I look away?! The rise of the "nymphets" and Lana Del Rey compelled me to give "Lolita" by Vladimir Nabokov a read -- not specifically for aesthetic reasons, but because I was intrigued by the origins of this unwavering yet sudden craze -- plus, I was already a MAJOR book worm. Unfortunately, when I finally got the chance to rent it from my local library, my parents discovered the plotline and believed I was reading it for the wrong intentions -- many such cases when it comes to "Lolita."
No matter how many times I tried to sneak it back, they found a way to hide it from me and yet, unfortunately for them, it only drew me closer to wanting to uncover the truth about it all; the book, its tracings to the "nymphettes," the fashion, the music, the aesthetics
The same has gone with film. By the time I was old enough to consider myself a movie junkie, I'd become an absolute PRO at not letting those I was living with know my what-abouts and would sneak late at night to watch my new discoveries; "The Dreamers, Amelie, KIDS (1995), Nowhere, Doom Generation, Spring Breakers, Sid & Nancy, Frida, Thirteen, City of God, Cruel Intentions, Palo Alto, Jawbreakers, Party Monster..." in my adolescent mind, I was able to cultivate a whole new world of my own and with it came that exact exploration of my identity and, inherently, my style of clothing. To create your ideal version of how you want to be perceived (physically) while feeling comfortable in what you're doing is a beautiful privilege which is why I so heavily recommend using any and all references you can to influence your appearance. I know we're in the digital-social media era where practically all marketing tactics are used moreso as a nostalgic cash grab and to be quite frank, it's very boring -- in the words of the late, great Andre Leon Talley, "it's bleak street over here...!" But I'm not talking about straight up copying, direct references. To come into yourself AKA your looks is to turn what you love and are inspired by into something of your own. You think Lady Gaga wanted to be a clone copy of Madonna? Why would I wanna hear a rendition of "La Isla Bonita" when I can jam to "LoveGame" and still respect them both equally?!
FIFTH RULE:
NEVER BE AFRAID TO GO OUTSIDE OF THE BOX IN FEAR OF PUBLIC OPINION!
You probably get told this a lot, but it's absolutely true! I see so many comments saying "I wish I could dress like that but my family, my friends, the town I'm living in will laugh at me!" WHO GIVES A FUCK!? I know people who've lived in the most restricting of conditions and environments and still dared to be themselves to this day. They didn't let other people's opinions affect how they wanted to represent themselves or what they desired. When I go out, I WANT to be looked at -- I want to give people a show, something that'll strike their eye, maybe take them away from their mundane day to day lives, even if just for a few seconds. Even little kids will come my way with stares of... well who knows -- admiration? fear? Though I have gotten many a compliment from little girls and that always fills my heart with joy. I remember being their age and looking up to off-putting, weird, whimsical women on the streets or on TV. My goal is to do the same for them, or perhaps any woman or femme who doesn't look the way I look and may like to do the same someday! Do you think we'd have as many style icons as we do now if they were afraid to be perceived? Do you think Kate Moss would've taken that chance at becoming a model at 14 if she even shuddered at the thought of having the spotlight on her? You think Julia Fox came this far through a treacherous, traumatic lifestyle just to not take the opportunity to capitalize on her authenticity and not care whether we mocked her because she gets paid regardless? You think Lil Kim was waiting around for other female-rappers to start indulging in the fashion industry and make their mark before her because she didn't want to be the only one doing it out of fear of looking foolish? NO! These ladies did what they wanted and everyone else fell in line! I highly encourage everyone reading this to do the same because you never know where your looks -- and more importantly, your authentic character -- will take you!
I've kept these rules and guidelines in the back of my mind when it comes to self-expression, and they still have yet to fail me. I've come a long way from the style I curate today, and I know I have even longer to go! God, I just can't wait to see what I look like when I'm older, elderly even. I pray you all do what you will with these tips, and I hope they guide you to just as much self-confidence and expansive knowledge as I try to acquire for myself! And trust, this is only the first installment in our "Disorderly Dressing" and "Cig Couture" series. Don't touch that dial because we have absolutely SO much to cover soon. Should we deep dive into individual Disorderly Dressed icons and inspirations? Subcultures? Countercultures? Leave us a comment in our Messy Girl forums so we can discuss!! And, as always, TTYL XOXO!
-- DESTRUCTION X DOLL